“New Rule: Conservatives have to stop complaining about Hollywood values. It's Oscar time again, which means two things: (1) I've got to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think the right-wingers have to buddy up to the fact that either the minimum wage has to go up, and people… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The politicians are no prizes, but the people are even worse, they're so ill-informed. I never understand the pushback when I say… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: America must stop bragging it's the greatest country on earth, and start acting like it. I know this is uncomfortable… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: If we want to find a place to cut government waste, we must start with the DEA rubber duck. Yes,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
This is a powerful message from our government: we will not be intimidated by bombs; we will not be intimidated by poison;… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“But what is it that drives haters crazy with rage? Many times, it's being ignored. To a person with pride, being ignored… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Donald Trump got the power of the government behind him now. He didn't have that before when he was just a clown.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
How come regional pandering only works in one direction, right? You never see a Southern politician trying to win votes in New… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I would wager that the number of civilians that were killed [in] a typical week under Saddam Hussein was probably more than… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“We preach about capitalism and the beauty of unfettered market forces determining price--but not when it comes to gas. When it comes… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
