What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually,… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Many people are intimidated by doctors. ... People also feel stupid when they don't understand what a doctor's talking about the first… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Sex in the nineties is boring. The problem is that it has gone from an active act to a spectator sport. We… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Adults are always telling young people, 'These are the best years of your life.' Are they? I don't know. Sometimes when adults… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.'… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
