I actually like south Florida. I never lived in a more interesting place than this. I've never met a wider range of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Within less than an hour, Chuck and I easily located what could well be the correct platform, where we pass the time… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.' — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you tell most people what libertarians think, they immediately assume that you cannot mean it all the way, that you're really… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I think if you use Twitter and social media as your main source of information you are an idiot, but I think… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I've been checking with people back in South Florida to see if Hurricane Dennis is going to whack my house, and the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
One popular new plastic surgery technique is called lip grafting, or 'fat recycling,' wherein fat cells are removed from one part of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If the people in Europe are SOOOOOO smart, how come so many of them can't seem to locate the deodorant, huh? — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
People - just weird people are attracted to Miami. And they come there not for serious reasons, usually. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
