I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Some people have constipation of the brain but their mouth has the runs. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I feel like people who don't brag are trying to make you jealous by thinking they're hiding something more even exciting. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
The key to attempting to create art in some aspect is also knowing that it will turn some people off. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I want to be able to challenge myself. And do things that are away from what I usually do. Stand-up is safe… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Comedy crowds - we always want to come out and ask you, 'How you feeling?' We always say that, 'By a round… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat ....… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not "all" but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I'm sure that people who have been tweeting funny things have ended up on writing staffs of a late night show. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Every great thing starts with an idea, followed by a doubt and finally a resolve to abandon or pursue. Victory is a treacherous journey. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
