My father said, Bring along your best girl. This is something you say to a pimp! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't dislike children, I just don't particularly want to be around with them a lot. Problem is, neither do their parents. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's nine months before the election and Bush's poll numbers have fallen to the exact level that his father's poll numbers were… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I was brought up Catholic and we show my mom, my mother, my sister and then I take pains to explain on… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
My generation didn`t face the kind of urgent, pressing issues that my parents did, who fought through a war and a Depression… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I believe in God, I just give him more credit than being a single parent and an author. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
My father was a news guy, you know, he was in radio news. And so that was sort of in my DNA.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To those people who say, 'My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say, 'Yeah, well, good for you. This dog… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Don't name your kid after a ballpark. Cubs fans Paul and Teri Fields have named their newborn son Wrigley. Wrigley… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If the bible myth of Jonah in the whale and the Mother Goose myth of Jack and the Beanstalk were switched at… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
