“Mustaches are not only fashion statements, but they’re useful for tickling vaginas.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Only 5 types of people have mustaches - cops, 70s porn stars, hipsters, pedophiles and women employed by a circus. — Prince Shawn Copy Share Image
“I know these sorts of people. They're not men. They're mustaches with idiots attached.” — Katherine Rundell Copy Share Image
“Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The provincial dandy wore the longest of spurs and the fiercest of mustaches.” — Victor Hugo Copy Share Image
“Alas," murmured Poirot to his mustaches, "that one can only eat three times a day ...” — Agatha Christie Copy Share Image
Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. Its like having a little pet for your face. — Anita Wise Copy Share Image
I love mustaches with all my heart. There's just something about sketch comedy and mustaches. — Will Forte Copy Share Image
I've always grown different types of facial hair like goofy type deals, but you know it really took off at Washington State… — Gardner Minshew Copy Share Image
“I’m like Twain, Nietzsche, and Dali in that I have three mustaches. (I have two of them disguised as eyebrows). Women love… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two mustaches walk into a bar, and the bartender said, “Can I get you a drink?” Both mustaches turned towards each other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
On the other hand, I'm drawn to top hats, and spats, and mustaches. I haven't read a Missed Connection yet with someone… — Sophie Blackall Copy Share Image
“We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
The delirium and horror of the East. The dusty catastrophe of Asia. Green only on the banner of the Prophet. Nothing grows… — Joseph Brodsky Copy Share Image
There's a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar… — Hannibal Buress Copy Share Image
“If history has taught us anything, Arthur muses, it is that men with mustaches must never achieve positions of power.” — Tom Rachman Copy Share Image
I had to be clean-shaven all the time to play a Mormon missionary, so after I was done, I grew a mustache… — Andrew Rannells Copy Share Image
Since I don't smoke, I decided to grow a mustache - it is better for the health. However, I always carried a… — Salvador Dali Copy Share Image
The Toothbrush mustache was first introduced in Germany by Americans, who turned up with it at the end of the 19th century… — Rich Cohen Copy Share Image
“The men could be easily distinguished as fellow Americans by the quality of their mustaches and the innocent and amicable expressions on… — Colm Tóibín Copy Share Image
The Beastie Boys are guys I loved before I met them, and when I got to know them, we started a magazine… — Spike Jonze Copy Share Image
Most mustaches lie waiting for some Clark Gable or Tom Selleck to fix them in the mind. The greatest are identified with… — Rich Cohen Copy Share Image
“I have two mustaches, one over each eye. They smell like tits and ass, because that’s all I enjoy drinking.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Indeed, there's little question that mustaches are the ultimate facial accessory. — Spencer Dinwiddie Copy Share Image
“The professor at the boxing gymnasium wore mustaches and was very precise and jerky and went all to pieces if you started… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
“The news that Daisy Miller was surrounded by half a dozen wonderful mustaches checked Winterbourne's impulse to go straightway to see her.” — Henry James Copy Share Image
I think I've become the go-to mustache man. It works in period pieces. Modern-day mustaches are probably creepy. But I get compliments… — Jack Huston Copy Share Image
“My 3-year-old called her eyebrows "eye mustaches". I was going to correct her, but instead I upgraded my vocabulary.” — James Breakwell Copy Share Image
Some men look great unshaven; others just look like they forgot to shave. Beards and mustaches can be really distinctive if you… — Donatella Versace Copy Share Image
The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
