Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“Girls mature faster than boys, cost more to raise, and statistics show that the old saw about girls not knowing about money… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Motherhood isn't just a series of contractions; it's a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
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