When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional,… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I enjoy the making of the film and it's something for me to do. If nobody ever comes to my films, if people don't want to give me money to make films, that will stop me. But as long as people come all over the world and I have an audience and I have ideas for films, I will do… — Woody Allen Copy Share
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
