Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning!… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
How to survive boarding school. Do not express emotion, do not feel emotion, do not have emotion. If someone hits you, hit… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
For me to put a look together, if it's going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
"I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
When I first came out, I thought, I want to walk like a real woman, I don't want to do mincing steps. And there… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“You know, I don't believe that religions are religions. No, I believe they are philosophies with some good ideas and some fuckin' weird ones.” — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
“If you are an LGBT+ person and you come out, you have to go through your knight’s quest to create ground for yourself, to… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever. — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight...one, from...here to there. We'll be cruising at a height of ten feet, going up to twelve… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't! — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
