The government is just you know, blowing the doors off the media. And not everywhere, and I think, this is where you… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that was only done by cartoon villains. You're (Pres. Bush)… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe bears so little resemblance to the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who's arrested -- even accidentally -- can be strip-searched was decided five to four, with the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since...… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
After a long investigation the SEC has fined Halliburton $7.5 million for issuing fraudulent statements exaggerating their profits in 1998 and 1999… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
On a more personal note we in this country we have a very tragic situation occur at one of our universities and,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It's Romney's inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
By working to get away from your circumstance you can make something better of yourself, but there’s no guarantee... But you know… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You guys (Boko Haram) are trying so hard to convince everybody that you're such badasses. But all you've done with this kidnapping… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The American people, or at least the ones that I get on the subway with - they know there's a real threat… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
[CNN, USA Today] they've got 24 hours to fill. You know, how many times can Anna Nicole Smith's baby get a new father? — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Hopefully the process is to spot things that would be grist for the funny mill. In some respects, the heavier subjects are… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It's harder to eat meat when you know the animal's name...I have found. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If Obama's a tyrant, then he's pretty lame for a tyrant. How many tyrants do you know that really suffer because they… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
We all know what happens to celebrities when their time is up - rehab and then a stint on VH1. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
High school. You know, people say, 'I'll never do so-and-so again' - then they do it. So what? Sometimes somebody has crack,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The frustration of our [The Daily] show is- very much outside any parameters of the media or the government. We don't have… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
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![“[CNN, USA Today] they've got 24 hours to fill. You…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/639/jon-stewart-455_anna_cnn-usa-today-they-ve-got-24-hours-to-fi_2516478.jpg)
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