I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
