I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde. — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
Twitter is a much more dangerous cauldron of group-think than happy hours or dinners. On Twitter, the reward comes from agreeing or… — David Weigel Copy Share Image
Without our immigrants, who will kick our field goals, or train our white tigers? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to always crack jokes in class. I was a good liar and a good talker. I was just good. I… — Drake Copy Share Image
The Danes don't take themselves seriously at all and look for the joke in everything. Us Scots are on the same line… — Jamie Sives Copy Share Image
In movies, you don't get reactions: Live, when you do a joke, you know in a second whether it's good or bad.… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
On Monday they went out for a private picnic. On Tuesday they went for a carriage drive. On Wednesday they went to… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class… — Melchor Lim Copy Share Image
Obama supporters are like christmas lights. They all hang out together, half of em don't work, and the ones that do work… — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?" It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
Teacher: name four member of the cat family/ pupil:dady cat;momy cat;and two kittens :D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“To all you sensitive sallys out there who spend your time scribing angry letters, I have great news: Scientific models show that… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
I'm not a comedian. I don't do stand-up. I don't tell jokes. I'm a comedic actor, and approach my work that way.… — Eugene Levy Copy Share Image
World's shortest horror story consists of only two sentences. The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Oh, you know something?… — Donald Sutherland Copy Share Image
