When we're on set, we kind of joke around, and when we're rehearsing, we change up the scenes and make each other… — Kellan Lutz Copy Share Image
A Swedish newspaper reporter called and said, You've been awarded the Prize. I was quite sure it was a practical joke. — Joshua Lederberg Copy Share Image
...My point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was. I went crazy as a… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
Condoms are like women...most of the time they're pretty annoying, but you need them to get laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Is there any other way to Erudite headquarters?" I say. "Not that I now of," says Cara. "Unless you want to jump… — Veronica Roth Copy Share Image
I never knew you could offend someone by masturbating. This couple just opened their closet and they look really pissed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Fifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
White people made up the n-word, they knew about racial jokes before anybody, and in their old movies and old cartoons they… — Paul Mooney Copy Share Image
In the sixties, the recycling of pop culture turning it into Pop art and camp had its own satirical zest. Now we're… — Pauline Kael Copy Share Image
I joke that I reached the bimbo trifecta when I came to Fox News! In being a former Miss America, being blonde… — Gretchen Carlson Copy Share Image
Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense. — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned how to combat depression. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Comedy itself is based upon very old principles of which I can readily name seven. They are, in short: the joke, exaggeration,… — Jack Benny Copy Share Image
There was a time when I didn't like myself at all. I thought I was a cruel joke. But now I've come… — Cee Lo Green Copy Share Image
I don't like working by a monitor. I stand right next to the camera, and I'm very performance-oriented. That really means everything… — Drew Barrymore Copy Share Image
When I'm traveling a lot the flight attendants will ask what I do and if I say I'm a magician then I… — Justin Willman Copy Share Image
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
One of my favorite things on the show was just getting to do my own monologue and talking about someone who killed… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
To me, the highest expression of life is art with jokes. It's very rarified, very difficult to accomplish if you want to… — Neil Peart Copy Share Image
Teacher : whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window Teacher : who just… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women are like fish... neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I only became a celebrity because I had a kid. Before I was pregnant nobody cared. I joke to my agent that… — Busy Philipps Copy Share Image
