With my boyfriend, we can make sexist jokes to each other because we know it's absolutely not true. If I get home… — Emily Browning Copy Share Image
It seems to me that romantic comedies used to be about falling in love, but in recent years they've really become just… — Nigel Cole Copy Share Image
So many people joke that life with me - a professed lifelong penny pincher - must be tough. But [my husband] is… — Michelle Singletary Copy Share Image
I do a lot of public speaking and presentations and I'll always start with a self-deprecating joke to make everybody feel comfortable… — Warwick Davis Copy Share Image
White men have screwed this country up! I would like a black, female…. everything all rolled into one.I want something different. I… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
Teacher: 'Why didn't you do your homework?' Student; 'Sorry, but Kanye West didn't let me finish...' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself. — Peter J. Carroll Copy Share Image
A joke is like building a mousetrap from scratch. You have to work pretty hard to make the thing snap when it… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
If I hadn't been told I was garbage, I wouldn't have learned how to show people I'm talented. And if everyone had… — Gabourey Sidibe Copy Share Image
We have a marriage of people of various cultures coming together. It's not a joke. It's real. — Stevie Wonder Copy Share Image
“Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you’re (linguistically) dead.” — David Crystal Copy Share Image
Years ago I was a runway model, and I used to get laughs. I thought it was a joke anyway — Nora Dunn Copy Share Image
For me, a tour show should have a narrative; it should have an arc. It shouldn't just be, "Here's one joke, here's… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones… — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties:… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might… — Nick Clooney Copy Share Image
Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of… — Dov Davidoff Copy Share Image
We all hate it when we're joking around with our parents and then it turns into a life lesson. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Great short stories and great jokes have a lot in common. Both depend on what communication-theorists sometimes called "exformation," which is a… — David Foster Wallace Copy Share Image
I particularly scorn my fondness for paradox. I despise pessimism, narcissism, solipsism, truculence, word-play, and pusillanimity, my chiefer inclinations; loathe self-loathers ergo… — John Barth Copy Share Image
My favorite show tune has got to be Stephen Sondheim's 'I Remember Sky.' It's probably the saddest song of all time; I… — Laura Benanti Copy Share Image
I knew at the time my haircut was pretty damn god-awful, so I was just hoping that I wasn't one of the… — David Cook Copy Share Image
