Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
So many gay jokes tonight about (James) Franco. Apparently if you're clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you're super gay now. Is… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
Any jokes I make I try to make sure it's on story and helps the characters and makes sense with the movie. — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
I always have my setlist planned out, but the best moments are when the energy of the crowd just gets your mind… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
Your favorite kind of cake can't be birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal. — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
Most single people I know, myself included, have a difficult time even meeting up with the people they like, be it busy schedules, texting… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday. — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
I was 18 when I started. I was hanging out with some friends and they asked if I had tried stand-up before. I hadn't,… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
You go to any Jay-Z concert, and he plays his hits. Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
At the risk bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
“Rather than compare actual jobs, with their various pros and cons, in their minds they wound up selecting the features of each particular job… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
“Yale sociologist John Ellsworth Jr. said after a study of marriage patterns in Simsbury, Connecticut (population 3,941): “People will go as far as they… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
Why would anyone get married and have babies? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I've ever… — Aziz Ansari Copy Share Image
