If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If someone was to introduce hope and idealism into our political system, I think the tension that would create in other areas… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why. Boy, will you creep him out. I can just tell you from… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The country's 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
![“Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why.…” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/128/jon-stewart-455_boys_don-t-confuse-father-s-day-with-valentin_3112645.jpg)
