If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I don't know if I could kill someone with a frozen turkey because that is a lot of evidence to eat ....… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you're 1 of the 3 girls in pics with a greaseball whose arms are around you at a club you lose… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If a kid is really interested in wanting to have a career in aviation, he's actually learning and getting some of the… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I'm willing to write a check for $10,000 if someone can bring to me what I fell is ruining thousands of lives,… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions,… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Text a guy you like right now, "I'm thinking about you." If he says, "mmm are you in bed?" Never speak to… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Every great thing starts with an idea, followed by a doubt and finally a resolve to abandon or pursue. Victory is a treacherous journey. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
If you lie to a person at least tell someone else you've lied to the truth. It balances out your karma. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
