You can refer to god and you are really just talking about nature. If you are going to say the universe is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I kid the Republicans, with love. I feel bad for them. They got nobody for next time. Who are they gonna run?… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it's your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Herman Cain answered the Wall Street protesters, and he had a message for these protesters. He said, 'If you don't have a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't think George Bush is a good president by any imagination, but when he said, 'If you're talking to Al-Quaeda, we… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There's a new iPad out...People are going nuts for this thing...And, today, Mitt Romney said, 'It's a flat piece of white plastic.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
My generation didn`t face the kind of urgent, pressing issues that my parents did, who fought through a war and a Depression… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Do you want to know why marijuana is illegal? Because the drug companies want marijuana to be illegal. You see, if it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Lip-synching?! Let that be a lesson. If you are in Washington, D.C., and you open your mouth and another voice comes out,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think we do sympathize. And a lot of us think a lot of what Snowden did was great, and you're abetting… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Stop saying athletes do it for the love of the game. They do it for the love of their 32-room mansion with… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If the Hamas people had the opportunity, they would kill the maximum number of Israelis, which would be all. And, Israel has… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If it makes you feel any better we will be happy to attack a country that had nothing to do with it. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There were two Republican responses to the State of the Union. So if you watched the whole night, it was kind of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Even somebody like Bill Clinton, who I happen to admire very much, the second he was out of office, I remember, he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
My policy is I am always more than happy to say, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." What I am not… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sam Harris made that great analogy. He said, 'If someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans are obsessed with abortion...if they really wanted to protect the weakest, most helpless people, wouldn't they protect the Democrats? — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you, the citizen, deliberately vote for someone who won't give you healthcare over someone who will, you need to have your… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you're living hand-to-mouth, and still buying into the con that the big threats to America are socialized medicine, Mexican immigrants and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
