“If you want to know what the camel stole from your kitchen yesterday, then you shouldn;t slit open its stomach. You should… — Jussi Adler-Olsen Copy Share Image
“Oh," Sally brightened proud of herself for deciphering his sign language, "you're telling me not to leave my room." Costin nodded his… — Quinn Loftis Copy Share Image
“God must have known that, in the end, Adam and Eve would eat the apple and have to leave the Garden. But… — Spencer C Demetros Copy Share Image
“There’s no way I’m only meant to be a mom and wife. There’s got to be more in store for me, right?” — Bree Penfold Copy Share Image
What A Mystery! A cockroach is afraid of the Rat. Rat is afraid of Cat. The cat is afraid of the dog/… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
“I went back to the door of Georges’s study and pushed it open. He and Camille were sitting at either side of… — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“I swiftly discovered that there are few things in DIY (and possibly life) that can't be solved with a large mallet, a… — Monty Halls Copy Share Image
“-To me women are the most unknown factors in the universe, Vieng had then continued, -that is what makes them so interesting… — Andrew James Pritchard Copy Share Image
“They seek him here. They seek him there. Those Frenchies seek him everywhere. Is he in Heaven? Or is he in Hell?… — Sir Peter Blackney Copy Share Image
When I am White, I win because I am White. When I am Black, I win because I am Bogolyubov. — Efim Bogoljubov Copy Share Image
“Handing me a pen is like handy a madman a knife...at the end of it you know you'll end up with a… — D.E.M. Emrys Copy Share Image
I think that gay people in some ways end up forming a very different sense of humour to straight people. We all… — Jason Sellards Copy Share Image
“The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day… — Spike Milligan Copy Share Image
“I had made an early policy decision to drink the native beer despite the undoubted horrors of the process of fabrication. On… — Nigel Barley Copy Share Image
“A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one… — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be… — John Kenneth Galbraith Copy Share Image
That's where humour lives for me. In the body. The Steve Martin kind of stuff or Jim Carrey, that's what I like.… — Al Pacino Copy Share Image
“His only real financial failure came at the age of thirteen when, in an uncharacteristic error of judgement, he invested £200,000 of… — Mark Jackman Copy Share Image
“I said alone!” He nodded in agreement. “Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It’s our way.” — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“While the archetype of the tinker is generally the whipping person in classical bedtimes stories, this particular individual was a tinker by… — James Finn Garner Copy Share Image
“[novan]: bassists are very good with their fingers [novan]: and some of us sing backup vocals, so that means we're good with… — Jess C Scott Copy Share Image
“Erica had asked me a million times. 'Madison, are you sure you’re just the child minder? He pays you a lot of… — Kyra Lennon Copy Share Image
Student : Would you punish me teacher for some mistake that I did not do? Teacher : of course, why would I… — Janik Seshan Copy Share Image
The owl and the pussycat went to sea, / In a beautiful pea green boat. / They took some honey, and plenty… — Edward Lear Copy Share Image
“The aftereffects of confiding something you shouldn't have, almost as bad as a hangover.” — Malka Ann Older Copy Share Image
“I’d spend hours in HMVs, Virgin Megastores and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds, listening to contemporary music… — Alan Partridge Copy Share Image
Humour plays close to the big, hot fire, which is the truth, and the reader feels the heat. — E. B. White Copy Share Image
“The Brit's face shares a heritage with a junkyard butt-sniffing mutt. It's a hard-earned moonshine mug, dotted with a hairy mole that… — Brett Tate Copy Share Image
“If a man was around when Aunt Kathy came by, she would berate him and throw him out. I even saw her… — Harold Phifer Copy Share Image
“Mother Goose! I have never much cared for flippant remarks, especially when others make them, and in particular, I don't give a… — Alan Bradley Copy Share Image
Not all journalists are really journalists. They ask such stupid questions sometimes, especially the newer ones, and because... these people can't tell… — Ray Liotta Copy Share Image
“You think we 're both fifty shades of fucked up, don't you?" - "Nah, not that bad. Maybe twenty-five shades.” — Laurelin Paige Copy Share Image
“Every discussion with a girl is an argument, and when you think you are right suddenly you realize that your trapped.” — Bharat Copy Share Image
“Sure it is, Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then you are you sweating bullets?” — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
Mort was hurt by this. It was one thing not to want to marry someone, but quite another to be told they… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
![“[novan]: bassists are very good with their fingers [novan]: and some of us sing backup vocals, so that means we're good with our mouths too... (~ IM chat with Novan Chang, 18, bassist)” quote by Jess C Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/e36/jess-c-scott-15952_asian_novan-bassists-are-very-good-with-their_2792760.jpg)
