the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
For some unexplained reason, it's always the other end of the table that's wild and raucous, with screaming laughter and a fella… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
