My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Myths that need clarification: "No matter how many times you see the Grand canyon, you are still emotionally moved to tears." False.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
