Show business is - you're there by somebody's fluke. And as long as somebody likes you, and the show is going well,… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I'm grateful for every day I'm still alive. Everything is still working. I attribute it to eating a lot of processed foods.… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
With plastic surgery, the general anesthetic is like a black-velvety sleep, and that's what death is - without waking up to someone… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
When I turn down work, I feel guilty, I feel terrible; I don't know where the next job is going to come… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
It's like, God, I'm in my 80s. Nobody, when I die, is going to say, 'How young?' They're going to say she… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
