This year I plan to start putting off my Christmas shopping extra early. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You remind me of Santa in that you work about one day a year and spend the other 364 days judging. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Buying me a Christmas gift on Cyber Monday is a great way to ensure I'll have sex with you until Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pretending to believe in the Mayan apocalypse prophecy is a great way to get out of buying Christmas presents. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's hope the kids are stupid enough to believe Santa bought them this year's budget-conscious, crappy gifts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're sad about being single this holiday season, remember that even Kim Kardashian is unmarried 293 days a year. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've put a lot of thought into asking Siri what to get you for Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's give thanks our neighborhood is too dangerous for Christmas caroling. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A holiday miracle would be still fitting into my clothes after the holidays. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd be much more into the office holiday party if my coworkers weren't invited. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Adele might set fire to rain... but SpongeBob can make a campfire under water!!!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm flattered you actually think I can afford the things on your holiday wish list. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Christmas shopping for you has made me realize that I know absolutely nothing about you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's no limit to the amount of company time I'd waste shopping for your holiday gift. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm dreaming of a Christmas as white but not nearly as depressing as the Republican party. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't believe you're alone over the holidays considering how easy you are to get into bed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
BOY: Can I have a photo of you? GIRL: Why? BOY: So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May you maintain the same fake enthusiasm for the holidays as North Koreans did for Kim Jong Il. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Merry Christmas to someone who'd care more about Baby Jesus if he was in Kate Middleton's uterus. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My favorite part of the holiday season is blaming my long-term weight gain on the holiday season. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for agreeing not to buy each other anything for Christmas and then making me feel guilty by buying something anyway. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whether you're offended by me saying Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, take comfort in knowing I don't really mean either. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your holiday season be filled with friends and family who don't bring up your school's horrifying pedophiliac sex scandal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Crush, don't be scared if a fat guy in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas Eve. Sincerely, You Were… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
