Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself. — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
An article on playwrights in the Daily Mail , listed according to Hard Left, Soft Left, Hard Right, Soft Right and Centre. I am… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
I'm not good at precise, coherent argument. But plays are suited to incoherent argument, put into the mouths of fallible people. — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
The thing I think about is that once you've done it, you then start to think about what you're going to do next. It's… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
At the drabber moments of my life (swilling some excrement from the steps, for instance, or rooting with a bent coat-hanger down a blocked… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world. Imagine that. Per person. This means that if the time scale… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
I'm more socialist certainly than New Labour - I'm very old Labour, really. — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
Why do we not care to acknowledge them? The cattle, the body count. We still don't like to admit the war was even partly… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
Were we closer to the ground as children, or is the grass emptier now? — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
But most men regard their life as a poem that women threaten. They may not have two spondees to rub together but they still… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
“BURGESS How do you like Moscow? CORAL Loathe it, darling. I cannot understand what those Three Sisters were on about. It gives the play… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which… — Alan Bennett Copy Share Image
