A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.' — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Bacon is so good by itself that to put it in any other food is an admission of failure. You're basically saying, 'I can't make this other food taste good, so I'll throw in bacon.' — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
“What I have a problem with is not so much religion or god, but faith. When you say you believe something in your heart… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
That whole 99% thing, they are all in the 1% of the world. Every one of them pays a cellphone bill that is the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I will forever stick up for Catholics and Christians in general. With a small number of very horrible exceptions, they do play by the… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I'm not bothered by the idea of getting old, or I guess you could say by having arrived at old. I was 10 when… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
I'm always surprised when the corporate world does stupid things, because they're often not very stupid in hindsight. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who cares what they think? They're named 'Dave.' — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
The only secret of magic is that I'm willing to work harder on it than you think it's worth. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
Well, it's not really the right word, but freedom is kind of a hobby with me, and I have disposable income that I'll spend… — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
It is really funny to see people that you know acting unpleasantly just because there are TV cameras on. — Penn Jillette Copy Share Image
