When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Limousines used to be reserved for the ruling class, or, on special occasions, for the working class. Today, limousines are like taxicabs… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
My son would walk to the refrigerator-freezer and fling both doors open and stand there until the hairs in his nose iced… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying Open! was never a… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Enter my first neighbor - a woman who spoke in complete, coherent sentences, who ate with a knife and fork and who… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Most mothers entering the labor market outside the home are naive. They stagger home each evening, holding mail in their teeth, the… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when parents began to communicate with their children. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
To say, "Well, I write when I really get into it" is a bunch of bull. Put the paper in the typewriter, stare at… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity.… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
