Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
“To live, fiction must be read, and to be read it must be enjoyed. Why do so many people talk about the… — Trevor Cole Copy Share Image
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think that a hat which has a little cannon that fires and then goes back inside the hat is at least… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
There is an interesting point about the price of success: It must always be paid in full-and in advance. Everyone wants to… — Brian Tracy Copy Share Image
I remember we were all horrified to see Grandpa up on the roof with his Superman cape on. "Get down!" yelled Uncle… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
When we destroy something crated by man we call it vandalism but when we destroy something by nature we call it progress. — Ed Begley, Jr Copy Share Image
I'm telling you, just attach a big parachute TO THE PLANE ITSELF! Is anyone listening to me?! — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you want this life to stop breaking your heart, stop giving your heart to this life. — Yasmin Mogahed Copy Share Image
Caste is a state of mind. It is a disease of mind. The teachings of the Hindu religion are the root cause… — B. R. Ambedkar Copy Share Image
Civilization has made man, if not always more bloodthirsty, at least more viciously, more horribly bloodthirsty. — Fyodor Dostoevsky Copy Share Image
Often, the most extraordinary opportunities are hidden among the seemingly insignificant events of life. If we do not pay attention to these… — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
Isn't it funny how whenever we go to a county fair or a state fair, the first thing we do is see… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
We are all on the stairs, my friend; some of us are going down, some us are going up! — Mehmet Murat Ildan Copy Share Image
In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
The old pool shooter has won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue.… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and laugh… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed psychiatrist is our "friend." — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
