The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Computers operate on simple principles that can be easily understood by anybody with some common sense, a little imagination, and an IQ… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My current computer, in addition to 'DOS,' has 'Windows,' which is another invention of Bill Gates, designed as a security measure to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.' — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
