When people talk about me behind my back, I sit back and think 'Wow, I've got myself a fan club!' — Abhishek Tiwari Copy Share Image
Okay mom...you know I love you...but I can't accept your friend request on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They say so many people die because of alcohol. Perhaps they never realized how many of them are born because of it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're all thats in my mind.. I wish one day you would get out of my mind coz Id love to make… — Joanne Lobedica Copy Share Image
Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was wondering why cars got bigger as they got closer, then it hit me... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Obama supporters are like christmas lights. They all hang out together, half of em don't work, and the ones that do work… — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
Over-thinking ruins you, ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry & just makes everything much worse than it actually is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bacon Is Bacon Eggs Are Eggs Don't Let A Guy Get In Between Your Legs, He Says Your Cute, He Says Your… — Danish Copy Share Image
Why does Facebook want to know what I am thinking? Do they not realize that is classified and somewhat scary information? — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I find it weird to see .99cent burgers and $4.99 for a salad, and they say why is America an obese country???… — Osvaldo M Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your at the club and the women next to you sings along with the song and says I… — Raul Vasquez Copy Share Image
Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when an ugly person says I need my beauty sleep when they really need to hibernate... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never understood why they have life jackets under our seats on planes instead of parachutes... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Am I on facebook because I'm bored, or am bored because I'm on facebook? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes it's okay to be single as long as you enjoy it and not dying for a boyfriend. — OhItsVynn Copy Share Image
Being single is much better than in a relationship with someone who always hurt you. — OhItsVynn Copy Share Image
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You're lonely not because no-one accepts you but because you don't accept anyone into your world. — Emanuel Sebastiao Copy Share Image
That suspicious moment when someone who doesn't like you suddenly starts being nice to you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Turning 32 years old is significant, because at 32 you can sleep with someone half your age and not go to jail — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Disney Channel should stop making new shows and replay all the old ones. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go f*ck itself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can't get out of my bed or I'll… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Complaining about wanting a relationship just makes you look more desprate then you are. — Syoung Copy Share Image
1.Morning Routine: 1. Wake Up 2. Check phone for messages 3. Check Facebook for any notifications. — Becca Copy Share Image
Sorry for my absence.. My life is not just facebook.. I have other things to do as well.. — SangFroid Stalker Copy Share Image
A slut is like the first piece of bread in a loaf, everyone touches it, but nobody wants it. — Mitchell Sakundiak Copy Share Image
If you text me and then within the next 3 minutes send me ???, you will not get a reply. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
