“I’ve become one of those parents who demand their children go to the bathroom. “But I don’t have to.” “Well, go anyway.” — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
And no bathroom on earth will make up for marrying a bearded man you hate. — Dodie Smith Copy Share Image
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
Using the bathroom in space is hard, and you've got to be very - what was the word? - very kind to… — Jared Isaacman Copy Share Image
Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyones bathroom looks like 1 mirror at a time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate to be enclosed. I don't like bathroom doors - I don't shut them. In fact, in my house, I have… — Patti Smith Copy Share Image
There is an inverse correlation between the cleanliness of a bathroom and my 3-year-old daughter's need to move her bowels. — Ayelet Waldman Copy Share Image
I have three lines in 'The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3' about having to go to the bathroom, and it's the… — Jason Butler Harner Copy Share Image
I don't remember my parents together, ever: my father was much older, and really only interested in collecting magazines and bathroom suites;… — Paula Yates Copy Share Image
“No doubt, the toilet must have come alive and regurgitated all over the floor and walls. The putrid water is still trickling… — Kelby Losack Copy Share Image
Make sure your bathroom is clean. If you're having a girl over the house for the first time, make sure your toilet… — Carly Aquilino Copy Share Image
My father's motto has always been 'Room in the heart, room in the house.' As charming as this sounds, it translates into… — Firoozeh Dumas Copy Share Image
In really fancy restaurants they never point to the bathroom, they just gesture toward the bathroom or they'll lead you to the… — Nico Muhly Copy Share Image
Sisters annoy, interfere, criticize. Indulge in monumental sulks, in huffs, in snide remarks. Borrow. Break. Monopolize the bathroom. Are always underfoot. But… — Pam Brown Copy Share Image
The only really firm rule of taste about cross dressing is that neither sex should ever wear anything they haven't yet figured… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When Demetrie got sick, we knew it was our responsibility to take care of her and pay her medical bills. And we… — Kathryn Stockett Copy Share Image
Freshly brainwashed from rehab, I carry the bottle into the bathroom. I hold it up to the light. See the pretty bottle?… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Ignore that nightmare in the bathroom. Just another ugly refugee from the Love Generation, some doom-struck gimp who couldn't handle the pressure.… — Hunter S. Thompson Copy Share Image
Ahh! Lady Pillows. So much fluffier than mine.” He took a giant whiff. “Why does everything girlie smell so delightful?” “Because we… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
The woman in labor must have NO STRESS placed upon her. She must be free to move about, walk, rock, go to… — Grantly Dick-Read Copy Share Image
“I already have my bathroom time scheduled, so you’ll have to work around it. Please note the bathroom is unavailable for the… — Kyle Adams Copy Share Image
Yeah, in every film that I've been lucky enough to do with Tim, there's always some form of torture, and the nails… — Johnny Depp Copy Share Image
It's funny how certain objects convey a message - my washer and dryer, for example. They can't speak, of course, but whenever… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Poems come from ordinary experiences and objects, I think. Out of memory - a dress I lent my daughter on her way… — Sharon Olds Copy Share Image
I hate that weird stare you get when you walk back into the classroom after going to the bathroom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Emma still had a lot to learn about me. The only place I went stag was the bathroom.” — Sara Shepard Copy Share Image
Love is something that hangs up behind the bathroom door and smells of Lysol. — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
When you took your seat I felt as if a woman had come into my bathroom and I had only the sponge… — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
There should be a new, more honest euphemism. Like, I'm leaving office because I plan to solicit more anonymous sex in bathrooms. — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
I am a bathroom singer, that's for sure, and that's where I will remain! — Athiya Shetty Copy Share Image
“Are you about to have sex in my bathroom?" Without missing a beat, Kellan responded with, "Yes," and started closing the door.” — S.C. Stephens Copy Share Image
“Will you sleep with me?" he asked softly, before grinning suddenly. "In the tub?” — Shelly Crane Copy Share Image
I crawled in the bathroom, looked in the mirror and saw the devil. It was me. — Larry Gatlin Copy Share Image
In the Year 2000 men will finally discover that the reason women go to the bathroom in pairs... is to make out. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“I asked to use the bathroom and sat, recovering, on the edge of a marble bath on a dais—the kind Greek husbands… — Olivia Sudjic Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
EVE:so thats the bathroom where shane spends houres doing his hair shane:bite me — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
“After I go to the bathroom, I leave my hands wet as proof I washed them.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just… — Tommy Shaw Copy Share Image
Hamlet at 70: "To sleep, perchance to dream. To awaken, perchance to go to the bathroom." — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
