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Thinking Quotes by George Carlin

113 Thinking quotes by George Carlin

All Thinking quotes George Carlin’s page

George Carlin says the chase for stuff and religion can cloud our minds. He jokes that we often feel like human garbage drifting toward a sewer, yet art lets him release feelings without needing belief. He also points out that people who claim not to care about others' opinions are often the most desperate to prove it.

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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?

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But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

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If you you think there is a solution, you're part of the problem.

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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.

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What year did Jesus think it was?

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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.

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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.

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I don't think we really gave barbarism a fair try.

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I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my…

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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.

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I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.

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I think it would be fair and right to use some of my land and wealth for a drug-rehab center or an…

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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention…

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I don't like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.

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I suspect there really was more to my accident than bad luck. I think it was God's way of punishing my nose.

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Everything that you know about yourself comes from thinking back, and I think I saw religion as the first big betrayal of…

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I think it's important to break taboos for the same reason it's important to break laws and rules - because either you're…

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I was kind of sweet kid, according my mother, and my recollections. Thoughtful and good, but kind of alone - although I…

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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely…

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I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and…

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Think of how strange we'd look if all the cuts, burns, scrapes, bruises, scratches, bumps, gashes, and scabs we ever had suddenly…

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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with…

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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough…

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I was trying to get out of the night clubs and was thinking maybe I'll go to the colleges now; that's where…

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There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what,…

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The only good thing about religion is the music. Because nature is filled with balances and opposites, there are always exceptions to…

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I love individuals. I think people are terrific as I meet and get to know them. I like imagination. I like the…

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I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me…

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I don't understand a belief that there is an invisible being in the sky who watches over us all the time and…

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An entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself. An artist is on a journey: they don't…

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I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a direction where I could trust myself and trust my…

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Valentine's Day is devoted to love. Why don't we have a day devoted to hatred? The raw, visceral hatred that is felt…

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There is a certain amount of righteous indignation I hold for the American culture, because to get back to the real root…

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I don't think drugs are a problem; I think they're a symptom. As long as Americans are empty, spiritually, emotionally, morally empty,…

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They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. It's a big club and you ain't…

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I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No…

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Someone said, and rightfully, that "property is theft'." There's no way a man can stand and tell me that he owns an…

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Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and…

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It's not in the mainstream media yet, but the biggest jump in skin cancer has occurred since the advent of sunscreens. That…

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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.

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More by George Carlin

I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.

With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.

Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken…

“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both…

“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out…

I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.

Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.

“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital…

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,…

Is there another word for synonym?

The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the…

These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?