There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Humor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It's surprise that makes the joke. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It's the American view that everything has to keep climbing: productivity, profits, even comedy. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward:… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily. Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I set out to become a comedian, and I said in order to do that the first thing I'll do is become… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The person who is most a part of me is the performer, is the standup, the guy who says, "Hey look at… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think of shock as kind of an uptown form of surprise. Comedy is filled with surprise, so when I cross a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy is grievances. It's a recitation of grievances - whether they're inconsequential, superficial - like "my wife shops too much", or "kids… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
But when you're in front of an audience and you make them laugh at a new idea, you're guiding the whole being… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I like my jokes to be built on a foundation of ideas, or at least smart observations. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share
These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people. — George Carlin Copy Share
