I did the commencement speech at UNH in 2006, and one of the biggest jokes was a 'Guts' joke. — Mike O'Malley Copy Share Image
Jokes have to be quite naked to be understood. They have to be quite simple. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I was just playing around with my imagination...Then everything got intense — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENING TO ALL PEOPLE WHO DONT SEND TEXT MESSAGES HAHAHAHHA.. BEWARE PEOPLE! — Mharwhyn Copy Share Image
I know why Superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids! — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
Driving somebedy's car is a joke because you listen to their favourite music — Musa Nkutha Copy Share Image
They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes. — Ryan North Copy Share Image
Adrienne [ Shelly] had 100 per cent control over this movie [ Waitress] as a director. She didn't just write it, direct… — Keri Russell Copy Share Image
A play is made by sensing how the forces in life simulate ignorance-you set free the concealed irony, the deadly joke. — Arthur Miller Copy Share Image
“You shouldn’t make jokes about these things,” she said. “Science doesn’t have all the answers, you know.” “It’s got all the best… — Ben Aaronovitch Copy Share Image
Seriousness is an accident of time. It consists of putting too high a value on time. In eternity there is no time.… — Hermann Hesse Copy Share Image
I would kill to be on 'Dexter,' and I would double kill to be on 'True Blood.' I would pay them to… — Callie Thorne Copy Share Image
My doctor said to me afterwards, 'When you were ill you behaved like a true philosopher. Every time you came to yourself… — Bertrand Russell Copy Share Image
I don't see much point in doing things for a pure joke. Every now and then you need a joke, but not… — A. S. Byatt Copy Share Image
I used to joke I was a point-and-click actor. My whole process has been about trusting your instincts and hitting your mark. — Daniel Radcliffe Copy Share Image
I did a guest shot on a comedy series where they did 20 to 30 takes of everything. It's just gone by… — Dick Van Dyke Copy Share Image
There is a fact-based belief system available to you if you want to believe in facts. But this is the weirdest time.… — John Flansburgh Copy Share Image
I believe that a perfect house is like a perfect person; no one really wants to be around them and everyone secretly… — Emily Henderson Copy Share Image
The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - it meant Bob Hope. He… — Dick Cavett Copy Share Image
In your thirties, you're much more comfortable with sex. First of all, sex is something you've done more. You know you can… — Julie Delpy Copy Share Image
Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other… — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
The joke of it all is that you are looking from your true nature right now without knowing it. If you would… — Adyashanti Copy Share Image
Celebrating the holidays in the White House over these past eight years has been a true privilege. We've been able to welcome… — Michelle Obama Copy Share Image
I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The critics had an image of me, and they wouldn't accept any other.. I was a cartoon character. A joke. — Ann-Margret Copy Share Image
I don't have any writers. I never get a laugh with somebody else's jokes. I can't do it justice. — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
There nothing wrong with talking to your toys, it is wrong when they start answering your — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Lacroix has been fantastic. He's very nice. He gets the joke, and I think that's a good thing. — Jennifer Saunders Copy Share Image
The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that. — Allen Toussaint Copy Share Image
The essence of humour is surprise; that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch. — A. P. Herbert Copy Share Image
Michael Jackson was a joker to his core. He loved a good joke especially if it's displayed on somebody else. — Siedah Garrett Copy Share Image
“I have found the secret KEY to success... All I need to do now is... To find the DOOR...” — Nelson M. Lubao Copy Share Image
People make jokes about how black people are the first ones to be killed off. — Sanaa Lathan Copy Share Image
![“Adrienne [ Shelly] had 100 per cent control over this movie [ Waitress] as a director. She didn't just write it, direct it and act in it, she was the creative force behind everything, from the jokes down to the expressions.” quote by Keri Russell](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/282/keri-russell-8795_behinds_adrienne-shelly-had-100-per-cent-control_888805.jpg)
![“Celebrating the holidays in the White House over these past eight years has been a true privilege. We've been able to welcome over half a million guests... our outstanding pastry chefs have baked 200,000 holiday cookies... and Barack [Obama] has treated the American people to countless dad jokes.” quote by Michelle Obama](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/a4a/michelle-obama-518_able_celebrating-the-holidays-in-the-white-ho_1473563.jpg)
