Ain't singing for Pepsi, ain't singing for Coke, I don't sing for nobody, makes me look like a joke. — Neil Young Copy Share Image
Most interesting line written on the front of T-shirt of a girl, . . . . . . . Excuse me ! My face is above.;-) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There was laughter in the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there. — George S. Kaufman Copy Share Image
My Lord told me a joke. And seeing Him laugh has done more for me than any scripture I will ever read. — Meister Eckhart Copy Share Image
What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives a women wild? No... it's a $100 bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
But today, I feel the genuine warmth, the affection, and although I may joke about it, I am touched. — Perry Como Copy Share Image
Geraldo has returned to the states. See? I told you airline security was a joke. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I found, especially with stand-up, that if a premise works, you can make the joke work. If a premise doesn't work, you… — Nick Kroll Copy Share Image
My girlfriend thinks my jokes are stupid, but she still let's me put my penis inside of her. So, who's stupid now? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have some speakers up here, thank God, because last night I didn't have them and I was telling jokes and I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
The State trained us to make other people's terrible jokes work, which is the other part of the game when you're here. — Robert Ben Garant Copy Share Image
I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a… — Maria Shriver Copy Share Image
I've always been into leopard print. No joke, when I was 14 years old I wanted my entire room to be covered… — Kim Kardashian Copy Share Image
I only became a celebrity because I had a kid. Before I was pregnant nobody cared. I joke to my agent that… — Busy Philipps Copy Share Image
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny. — Alan King Copy Share Image
“All the jokes about men sitting down on their hats are really theological jokes; they are concerned with the Dual Nature of… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
My joke is a picture of David Bowie on his balcony in the '70s in a suit in Paris, and unless that's… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I love bad comedy more than I love good comedy, so I love open mics. Or I used to. But the thing… — Paul F. Tompkins Copy Share Image
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For starters, let's dispense with the cheap jokes about cannibalism. That means cracks about giving an arm and a leg - sorry… — Mitchell Zuckoff Copy Share Image
People say I'm the life of the party Because I tell a joke or two Although I might be laughing loud and… — Smokey Robinson Copy Share Image
Comedy is serious - deadly serious. Never, never try to be funny! The actors must be serious. Only the situation must be… — Mel Brooks Copy Share Image
