Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The joke is the purest, most essential form of storytelling. Every word has to count. — Paul Auster Copy Share Image
I think writers have become hypnotised by the number of jokes on the page at the expense of character. — Sherwood Schwartz Copy Share Image
There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke. — Michael Scott Copy Share Image
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder. — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Writing a book has about it some of the anxiety of telling a joke and having to wait several years to know… — Alain de Botton Copy Share Image
I'm against eating a human being alive - I don't do it. Somebody might make cannibalism jokes and laugh it off like… — John Maus Copy Share Image
I think when people watch a lot of artists, they're expecting this showiness, and I'm cracking jokes with people. I'm heckling back.… — Caitlin Rose Copy Share Image
She had something down there twice as big as mine. That's why I say you better watch where you stroke, cause it… — Gary B.B. Coleman Copy Share Image
At the same time, we can't blame comedians for taking time to learn. Any critic of comedy who believes that he has… — Guy Branum Copy Share Image
I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
If you want something to be done you got to do it for yourself is not an excuse to master bate some… — Mathew Brakett Copy Share Image
It’s a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody’s expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at… — Richard Kalvar Copy Share Image
Feminine traits are called weaknesses. People joke about them; fools ridicule them; but reasonable persons see very well that those traits are… — Immanuel Kant Copy Share Image
I had a lot of bad jobs but the one big internship I had is I interned for 'SNL' when I was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I told him on the phone that after all you and I would not be getting married, he said "Oh-oh. Do… — Alice Munro Copy Share Image
Rick said, "Is there some place we can go and talk?" "You want to talk?," Keir raised an eyebrow. "I never thought… — Josh Lanyon Copy Share Image
Jim Pagliaroni joined the club tonight and is going to be a welcome addition. He was describing a girl that one of… — Jim Bouton Copy Share Image
It never changes. Football is a game of repetition, mental and physical. You may try to articulate it a little different, but… — Barry Switzer Copy Share Image
If the movie is terrible you can have fun. You can joke about it and have a ball. The movie is already… — Christopher Plummer Copy Share Image
The first joke I got on the air I remember clearly. Dennis McNicholas and Robert Carlock wrote a sketch where they were… — Michael Schur Copy Share Image
