So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
This is a youth-oriented society, and the joke is on them because youth is a disease from which we all recover. — Dorothy Fuldheim Copy Share Image
We have a marriage of people of various cultures coming together. It's not a joke. It's real. — Stevie Wonder Copy Share Image
Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? A: Liquor in the front and poker in the… — Unkown Copy Share Image
I'm the youngest of four, and I'm always the clown - making the jokes, wanting attention. — Rose Byrne Copy Share Image
“The day I understand what's going on in her psychotic little brain they'll have to lock me in a psych ward.” — J. Gabriel Gates Copy Share Image
Husbands are often more affected by the lack of words their wives speak, than by all nagging in the world.. — Nushra Copy Share Image
We humans are not born alone; joining and being active in a club whose members share your passion for ideas and get… — Richard Lederer Copy Share Image
Shame about how we’re gonna die here, though. I mean, seriously. An Arab and a half-Jew enter a store in Tennessee. It’s… — John Green Copy Share Image
I do Twitter, but I'm still not great on it - I'm not good at writing short little jokes, so my Twitter's… — Cecily Strong Copy Share Image
A lot of the jokes had some build-up to some nasty stuff. But most of it was all character situations leading to… — Shawn Wayans Copy Share Image
I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because… — Wallace Shawn Copy Share Image
My reputation as a ladies' man was a joke that caused me to laugh bitterly through the ten thousand nights I spent… — Leonard Cohen Copy Share Image
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke… — Jasper Carrott Copy Share Image
Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on… — Rob Corddry Copy Share Image
It just seems like right now we’re in a place where people are being witch-hunted for expressing an opinion. Even if it’s… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
This is really hard to do but I'd like to change the tone now and briefly mention today's terrible tragedy in France.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
I'm not sure I'd classify any topics as off-limits, but I don't look for new territories to offend. There's my joke about… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
I could get you to smile like that, and without sales tax." I whirled around to find the real Patch standing in… — Becca Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
In all the works on pedagogy that ever I read — and they have been many, big, and heavy — I don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set… — Kevin Sorbo Copy Share Image
“So you're really going to the dance?" I nodded as I sipped from the mug. "Alone?" "Not technically.There should be other people… — Brodi Ashton Copy Share Image
A few years ago we said, 'Hail Guru Ram Das and heal the world.' It looked like a joke at that time.… — Harbhajan Singh Yogi Copy Share Image
