I can think of a number of areas in New York where three acres of nuclear waste would make the neighborhood safer… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Could the entire notion of finding one’s soul mate be a simple case of looking for ourselves in another body? Is the… — Dermot Davis Copy Share Image
“A limiting belief is practically invisible to us – it hides in habit and custom and mores. It is the way we… — Linda Armstrong Copy Share Image
“Dr. Loveless: Dang these pine needles. Why can't a forest be decently carpeted? Wild Wild West (TV) Second Season: Night of the… — Michael Garrison Copy Share Image
“My dad had once told me, crimson-red deep in “the talk,” that with sons, all he had to worry about was one… — Nicole Williams Copy Share Image
“And I was all, "Don't be gross, you crustacious fuck. You pull that thing out and I'll pepper-spray you until you fry."… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“I wanted to find my voice, so I sat in silence. I wanted joy, so I cried my heart open. I wanted… — Catherine Scott Copy Share Image
“There's no such things as sweet as dream Well maybe if you live on it But you could live such a sweet… — Joshua Natad Copy Share Image
Shawn's (Shawn Weatherly - former beauty queen) acting ability is such that she could not convey the concept of falling if your… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“I know that not all my readers like my digressions, but the research that has been done on Caenorhabditis elegans is such… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
“There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“--he stopped and eyed Bill Corso--"if you choose to just sit here like a bored jungle gorilla, you will have to write… — A.S. King Copy Share Image
“There are times when looking on the bright side takes a lot ot work. I'm taking a break from it tonight. I'll… — C.C. Alma Copy Share Image
It was you readers who really came through, proving once again that when the American people decide to "get involved" in a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“If I had echolocation I could map out the terrain of ab muscles through sheer force of will. His cut body is… — Julia Kent Copy Share Image
The Russians will never be able to get their missiles thought the dense protective layer of delayed flights circling over the United… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me. So throw me down, tie me up, and show… — Skye Eagleday Copy Share Image
Why, I don't exactly know about perjury, my dear sir," replied the little gentleman. "Harsh word, my dear sir, very harsh word… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
You cannot just quote from history and above all you cannot take it out of context, in however humorous a fashion .… — Gottfried Bohm Copy Share Image
“ 'Your brain doesn't process language quite like other people. Why that is, I have no idea.' 'I have a superior brain?'… — Max Barry Copy Share Image
As a writer and as a human being, Susan Dworkin has always had the ability to draw us into new dreams of… — Gloria Steinem Copy Share Image
I said in my earlier book, and find no reason for retracting my statement, that the famous Jewish sense of humour got… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“Society teaches us that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. The bill of rights informs us that we have the right… — Brian Randleas Copy Share Image
“...I like the way Chee kept God magical, sorta like Santa Claus when you're a kid. More priests should take this approach,… — Matthew Quick Copy Share Image
The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“It’s human nature to view life from our own reality. This causes serious problems when a rescue mission is being led by… — Jaime Buckley Copy Share Image
“Daddy had a strict rule about firearms. Anything we killed we had to eat. No amount of barbecue sauce would make a… — Diane Kelly Copy Share Image
“Many a parent, sad to say, has used their child as an opportunity for them, the parent, to do, through their child,… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I like Bret Easton Ellis' sense of humor. I feel like mine is sometimes similar to his. And how his characters sometimes… — Tao Lin Copy Share Image
“Life is full of things that can kill me, you vampire m*****f****r, and you sure as shit can just get in line… — Z.A. Maxfield Copy Share Image
“THIS IS A COMPLIMENT? You're incrediburgable she said which is to say You're a little like incredible but a lot more like… — Chocolate Waters Copy Share Image
True humor is fun - it does not put down, kid, or mock. It makes people feel wonderful, not separate, different, and… — Hugh Prather Copy Share Image
“Veil wouldn’t make his military invincible, but it would render every other military indefensible. Veil was it. Game over, fuckholes.” — Aaron Overfield Copy Share Image
“Figyeld meg, vannak ilyenek; vörösre bőgik a szemüket a moziban valami gennyes marhaságon, és tízből kilenc a szíve mélyén aljas barom.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Magnanimous of you.' His mouth twitched. 'Mmm. Use more words like that, please. Schoolmistress words. Long, impressive ones.' He'd made the last… — Julie Anne Long Copy Share Image
The only goal in life is to be happy, genuinely, intensely and consistently , regardless of what it looks like to others. — Abhishek Shukla Copy Share Image
In closing, the greatest threat to peace on this earth is the arrogance of a super-power [America] that is out of control. — Louis Farrakhan Copy Share Image
“Q and Beanpole and I giggled at the way our math teacher, Mr. Sung-Li, wore four pencils in his shirt pocket in… — Alan Lawrence Sitomer Copy Share Image