Economics, n.: Economics is the study of the value and meaning of J. K. Galbraith ... — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
“There shouldn't ever be a gas shortage in our world...when so many people are full of it!” — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
“I made a candle out of earwax so I could listen better in the dark.” — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
I love humorous games. I love to laugh, and I think it's a really great way to attract players. — Kim Swift Copy Share Image
Most of my artwork is geared towards being humorous in some light. — Frances Bean Cobain Copy Share Image
Mr. Starr, have you no shame? Facts and law are always subordinated to the will of the American people. — William H. Ginsburg Copy Share Image
The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants — Dave Beard Copy Share Image
Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies, the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred… — Mike Harding Copy Share Image
Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
There are artists with palettes and easels selling the kind of modern art that Soviet art critics used to critique with bulldozers.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Frankly, I've worked my whole life to not be adorable with only limited success, and two adorable people dating is waaaay too… — Hank Green Copy Share Image
There's nothing on it worthwhile, and we're not going to watch it in this household, and I don't want it in your… — Philo Farnsworth Copy Share Image
“Oh, it's called, em...' Kate thinks, 'I can't remember what it's called.' 'You're the same as me,' Dad says to her. 'You've… — Cecelia Ahern Copy Share Image
We are born at the rise of the curtain and we die with its fall, and every night in the presence of… — Micheal Mac Liammoir Copy Share Image
Some medical beast had revived tar-water in those days as a fine medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“David: “How the hell did you get dressed so fast?” Renee: “How do you know I didn’t streak naked through the lobby… — John C. Stipa Copy Share Image
I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“He downed the last of his coffee, carried his mug over to the pot, poured himself a refill, and returned to the… — Lynda Hilburn Copy Share Image
Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Shergahn and friend lay like poleaxed steers, and the Daranfelian's greasy hair was thick with potatoes, carrots, gravy, and chunks of beef.… — David Weber Copy Share Image
“Basset Hounds never get scared. We’re fearless, resolute and know how to season a good lamb chop.” — Elias Zapple Copy Share Image
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two… — John Barrymore Copy Share Image
“Some women walk towards a better future. Others have chauffeurs.” — Ljupka Cvetanova Copy Share Image
#3 pencils and quadrille pads.(when asked what CAD tools he used to design the Cray I supercomputer ) — Seymour Cray Copy Share Image
“Just tell him to keep his hands to himself and his python in his pants.” — Evangeline Anderson Copy Share Image
“Not a week after Annie put her foot in Mrs. Huffmaster's duff, the Captain upped and laid down the date.” — James McBride Copy Share Image
I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
“We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Flying from the United States to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“She batted those eyelashes at me so hard I thought I felt a breeze.” — Maddie Dawson Copy Share Image
“If at first you don't succeed, try to eat a big lunch and take a nap...er wait, no... #badadvice” — Jayce O'Neal Copy Share Image
“Oh, we're playing nice now? Shall we have tea first? Brew up a nice pot of kiss-my-ass?” — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
“Sorry. Sometimes my mouth engages before making contact with my brain.” — Jayson James Copy Share Image
In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Tears are kind of like urine. There's only so long you can hold them in.” — Julie Buxbaum Copy Share Image
