Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Just because you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When in comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People think life is real complicated. Actually, there's nothing to it. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“When it comes to BULLSHIT…BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT… you have to stand IN AWE, IN AWE of the all time champion of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Every time you're exposed to advertising in America you're reminded that this country's most profitable business is still the manufacture, packaging, distribution,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion...… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I figured out years ago that the human species is totally fucked and has been for a long time. I also know… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share
These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people. — George Carlin Copy Share
![“Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] "Look, they nearly missed!" "Yes, but not quite.” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/982/george-carlin-155_airline_here-s-a-phrase-that-apparently-the-airl_3054131.jpg)
