Quote by Uncle Amon Download Open image ““many chimneys does Santa go down? A: Stacks! What was your favorite joke? Leave”” — Uncle Amon ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.5 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare
I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house. — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
“Most kids grow up leaving something out for Santa at Christmas time when he comes down the chimney. I used to make presents for… — Jeanette Winterson Copy Share Image
“Missing a nose. With these children Santa has to be careful not to ask, "And what would you like for Christmas?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I remember arguing with kids on the street who were talking about Santa Claus. I said don't be so daft - Santa Claus doesn't… — Dennis Skinner Copy Share Image
“You have got to be kidding. Where'd they find it?" "I like to think it was Santa finally coming through on years of passionate… — Lia Habel Copy Share Image
“Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.” — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
One time I asked Brasky to dress up as Santa for a Christmas party I was having for my children. Anyway, Brasky shows up… — Bill Brasky Copy Share Image
“Well, well, well,” Santa said once the elf had retreated. “Come and sit on my lap, little boy.” This Santa’s beard was real, and… — Rachel Cohn Copy Share Image
“Why thanks", Santa said. "you're awfully kind... (Though they are a bit snug ... on my ample behind." "Don't worry," I told him, "you'll… — Jim Harris Copy Share Image
“Jeez! I thought you said you were just gonna set up the tree? It looks like Santa shit Christmas in here!” — Toni Aleo Copy Share Image
“I stopped keeping an eye out for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve because, when I was five, my mother told me that Santa was… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
“Q: What did the coach scream to the snack machine? A: Give me my quarterback!” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
“Knock knock! Who’s there? Summer! Summer who? Summer good and summer bad!” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
“Q: Why was Cinderella cut from the team? A: She ran away from the ball!” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
“What is small, squeaky, and skilled at sword fights? A: The mouseketeer!” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
“What does a basketball player do before he blows out his candles? A: He makes a swish!” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
“Q: What songs do Santa’s gnomes sing to him when he comes home freezing on Christmas night? A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
“Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? A: It is Christmas, Eve! Q:” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
“Knock knock! Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben knocking on this door all day long!” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
