Harper-allen Quote by Toni Aleo

“It looks like Santa shit Christmas in here!”

— Toni Aleo

“Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.”

— Janet Evanovich

“There's nothing crazier than a Christmas tree all lit up.”

— Jenny Han

“I wish we could get a real tree," Bug says. "Then at least we'd have one real tradition, since that whole Santa thing's a…

— Sarah Ockler

“Seriously, Santa. Fuck off and go and deliver some presents.”

— K.M. Golland

“Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree.”

— Charlotte Carpenter

“The Christmas Tree, I swear, is so large it looks like it gave birth to the one in Rockefeller Center.”

— Julie Sarff

“That is a perfectly good mini Christmas tree. We are going to sell that to charity because that is what Christmas is all about.”

— Steve Carell

“Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It’s time for Santa to get serious.”

— Michael Diack

“Why is a Christmas tree better than a man? Because it stays up, has cute balls, and looks good with the lights on!”

— Emily Giffin

“I stepped into the back of a cab and simply told the driver, "Follow the blue Christmas tree...”

— Chuck Palahniuk

“It is not a Christmas tree!" said the King, so firmly that all the girls stopped jumping about. "This is a house of mourning.…

— Heather Dixon