Accidents Quote by Tommy Cooper

“A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms"” quote by Tommy Cooper — Download Open image

“A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms"”

Tommy Cooper

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Accidents Arms Doctors Feels Funny Hospitals Humor I can Knows Legs Medicine Men Rounds Serious

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It doesn't matter how many times the audience has heard it before. If it's funny, it's funny.

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“Two blondes walk into a building. You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.”

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Last night I slept like a log. I woke up in the fire place.

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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed,…

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I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius…

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Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

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I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

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Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

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Gambling has brought our family together. We had to move to a smaller house.

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And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.

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He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's…

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My wife said, 'Take me in your arms and whisper something soft and sweet.' I said, 'chocolate fudge.'

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Explore all 78 Tommy Cooper quotes

More Accidents quotes

Almost all accidents take place because of human distraction.

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It was no accident, no coincidence, that the seasons came round and round year after year. It was the Lord speaking to us all and showing us over and over again the birth, life, death, and resurrection of his only begotten Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ, our Lord. It was like a best-loved story being told day after day with…

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No, I think most astronauts recognize that the space shuttle program is very high-risk, and are prepared for accidents.

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In presenting a mathematical argument the great thing is to give the educated reader the chance to catch on at once to the momentary point and take details for granted: two trivialities omitted can add up to an impasse). The unpractised writer, even after the dawn of a conscience, gives him no such chance; before he can spot the point…

John Edensor Littlewood

The only way to have a funeral is to invite everyone who ever knew the person and just wait for the accident to happen-somebody…

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Good films are not made by accident, nor is good photography. You can have good things happen, on occasion, by accident that can be…

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By education I am an Englishman, by views an internationalist, by culture a Muslim and a Hindu only by accident of birth.

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I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I…

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Naturally I feel no shame in writing these things because of the time which separates the moment when they are written--when only I can see them--from the moment when they will be read by other people, a moment which I feel will never come. By then I could have had an accident or died; a war or a revolution could…

Annie Ernaux