Asphalt Quote by Tommy Cooper

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.

— Tommy Cooper

I do miss the social aspect of sitting in a pub with a pint but you know what when I get down to it…

— Ozzy Osbourne

Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck."…

— Rodney Dangerfield

Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!!

— Bill Bailey

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a…

— Frank Carson

I miss that London thing of walking outside and bumping into mates and going, 'Do you want to get a pint?'

— Lena Headey

A guy walks into a bar* he sits down and sighs. the bartender walks over and asks him long day the man laughs and…

— She's_gone

A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, sees a girl that catches his eye. Asks her if she wants another, they fall…

— Tyler Farr

There's something wonderful about drinking in the afternoon. A not-too-cold pint, absolutely alone at the bar - even in this fake-ass Irish pub.

— Anthony Bourdain

If a man comes from around the corner after you get off a greyhound bus and has hay in his matted hair smelling like…

— Massmurder

A barmaid pours out a pint of lager for a customer in our local pub and she puts it down on a day-pass ticket…

— Robert D Dangoor

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a 6 pack of beer under the other. The bartender says

— Author Name