Hero Quote by Mitch Hedberg

“My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?”

Mitch Hedberg

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I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I…

Mitch Hedberg

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There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with…

Mitch Hedberg

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Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the…

Mitch Hedberg

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I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down.

Mitch Hedberg

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I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is.

Mitch Hedberg

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I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in…

Mitch Hedberg

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I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who…

Mitch Hedberg

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I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But…

Mitch Hedberg

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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Mitch Hedberg

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What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...…

Mitch Hedberg

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I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.

Mitch Hedberg

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I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."

Mitch Hedberg

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I am convinced that we will never build a democratic state based on rule of law if we do not at the same time…

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When the first Superman movie came out I was frequently asked "What is a hero?" ...My answer was that a hero is someone who…

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'Melanin Man' was inspired by the words of an Uber driver in L.A. Before I got out of the car he said, 'They're scared…

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Once the state has been founded, there can no longer be any heroes. They come on the scene only in uncivilized conditions.

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

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You know, I often thought that the gangster and the artist are the same in the eyes of the masses. They're admired and hero-worshipped…

Stanley Kubrick

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“A hero is not know by the number of battles he has won, but rather by the kind of battles he chooses to fight.”

Tonny K. Brown

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The last act in the biography of the hero is that of the death or departure.

Joseph Campbell

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Teachers are heroes.

Charles Best

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“Forgotten hero was never the real hero, real hero can not be forgotten.”

Amit Kalantri

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'Sex and The City' was made to correct the myth that if you were single at a certain age, you were a leper. Its…

Michael Patrick King

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Hero Quote by Mitch Hedberg

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