"I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of……" — Jim Gaffigan
"I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent."
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Jim Gaffigan
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99 Quotes by Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan has 99 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Oh great, socks. You know I'm dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They'll go great…
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Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.
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There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your…
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Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
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Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.
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Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January.
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It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.
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Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how…
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Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.
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There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get…
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If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house?
See all 99 quotes by Jim Gaffigan »
More Comedian Quotes
This quote is filed under Comedian Quotes,
one of 484 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I don't think I was a good comedian.
— Brigitte Bardot
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I say I'm the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I'd like to take this opportunity to ask…
— Roseanne Barr
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When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be…
— Roseanne Barr
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As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of…
— Elayne Boosler
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I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or…
— Elayne Boosler
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There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.
— Elayne Boosler
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It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm…
— Elayne Boosler
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The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet.
— Jo Brand
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Christians have always been fodder for comedians who have tended to portray them as anoraks - slightly clammy, beatifically smiley…
— Jo Brand
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Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn't cool to say, at a young age, 'I want to…
— Albert Brooks
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I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.
— Lenny Bruce
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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
— Lenny Bruce
See all 484 Comedian Quotes »