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Bed Quote by Dave Attell

“Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.” quote by Dave Attell
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“Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.”

Dave Attell

About This Quote

Source Stand-up Comedy: Dave Attell Live, 2005

The joke lists absurd calorie counts for everyday and illicit actions, highlighting humor in exaggeration and dark comedy.

In simple terms: Exaggerated calorie burn for bizarre activities.

Key Takeaway

Don’t take everything literally; enjoy the absurd.

Themes

humor dark comedy exaggeration

Mood

irreverent playful controversial

Type

comedian satire

When to use this quote

  • stand-up routine
  • comedy writing
  • performance critique

Key Concepts

social satire body image absurdity

Questions to Reflect On

  • What does this joke reveal about societal attitudes toward body image?
  • How does exaggeration affect comedic impact?
A Different Perspective

Humor can mask harmful stereotypes; offensive content may alienate audiences.

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