Bed Quote by Dave Attell
“Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.”
About This Quote
Source Stand-up Comedy: Dave Attell Live, 2005
The joke lists absurd calorie counts for everyday and illicit actions, highlighting humor in exaggeration and dark comedy.
In simple terms: Exaggerated calorie burn for bizarre activities.
Don’t take everything literally; enjoy the absurd.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- stand-up routine
- comedy writing
- performance critique
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- What does this joke reveal about societal attitudes toward body image?
- How does exaggeration affect comedic impact?
Humor can mask harmful stereotypes; offensive content may alienate audiences.