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Quote by Christopher Moore

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““Josh: "What is this thing?" Gasper: "It's a Yeti. An abominable snowman." Biff: "This is what happens when you fuck a sheep?" Josh: "Not an abomination, abominable.””

Christopher Moore

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“I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.”

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Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.

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Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.

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“I hope you are not here to ask me to do my bawdy business- the monkey has a nosebleed and the circus, sir, is…

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The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.

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“The night was crisp and the stars shone with a cold blue light like loneliness or infinity.”

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Children see magic because they look for it.

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“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend…

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“You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's syndrome.”

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How could you deal with a creature as devious as woman.

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“…turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero.”

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