« All Up Quotes · David Letterman's Page
Up Quotes by David Letterman
- Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
- I like Halloween. It gives you a chance to dress up like something you're not, you know? Like when the Miami Dolphins put on football…
- Don't kid yourself. Global warming is no joke. Here's how serious global warming has gotten to be in the United States. In this country global…
- Newt Gingrich says he wants to get rid of Social Security. Who is more qualified to give this country financial advice than a guy who…
- Newt Gingrich has criticized 'New York elites' who ride the subway. One of those subway elites threw up on my pants this morning.
- I'm having trouble warming up to Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy in the restaurant that comes to your table to make sure everything's…
- I mean you think about the guy, the Nigerian guy, who was going to blow up the plane. He was wearing a pair of Fruit…
- Now how about this, ladies and gentlemen? The Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, has announced she is stepping down. She will no longer be the…
- Valentine's Day money-saving tips: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. In place of bubble bath, use lavender-scented dish-washing liquid. Forget…
- They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!
- There's a turkey shortage. Are you aware of that fact? There's also a gravy shortage. It's up to $4 a gallon. Governor Chris Christie wants…
- USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
- There is a new billboard outside Time Square. It keeps an up-to minute count of gun-related crimes in New York. Some goofball is going to…
- It was stupid behavior. And you take a look at the explosion, and it knocks you down and you wake up every morning and you're…
More Up Quotes
- The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil. — Hannah Arendt
- Revolutionaries do not make revolutions. The revolutionaries are those who know when power is lying in the street and then they can… — Hannah Arendt
- I try to push ideas away, and the ones that will not leave me alone are the ones that ultimately end up… — J. J. Abrams
- All virtue is summed up in dealing justly. — Aristotle
- Growing up, my ideals were Barbra Streisand, Cher, and my mom. — Kevyn Aucoin
- When I was growing up, the men in my life were abusive; women were the ones I ran to for comfort. — Kevyn Aucoin
- Stories surge up out of nowhere, and if they feel compelling, you follow them. You let them unfold inside you and see… — Paul Auster
- Films and television and even comic books are churning out vast quantities of fictional narratives, and the public continues to swallow them… — Paul Auster
- Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside… — Diane Ackerman
- I write the paragraph, then I'm crossing out, changing words, trying to improve it. When it seems more or less OK, then… — Paul Auster
- Get this in mind early: We never grow up. — Richard Bach
- People are so damned afraid that one day they might wake up and discover that they've grown old. — Billie Joe Armstrong