« All Today Quotes · Conan O'Brien's Page
Today Quotes by Conan O'Brien
- Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq
- Lenscrafters is upset with Tea Partier Michele Bachmann because she called Planned Parenthood 'the Lenscrafters of abortion.' Lenscrafters released a statement today calling her 'the…
- Today, possible presidential candidate Donald Trump released his birth certificate. It lists his eyes as blue and his hair as ridiculous.
- President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to succeed…
- According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a 'jackass.' Not since 'yes, we can' has Obama found…
- Today, former President Bill Clinton met with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il and convinced him to release two American journalists that have been jailed since…
- The U.S. Census Bureau reports that American homes are 650 square feet larger today than they were in 1980. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
- There is some good news for John McCain. According to the latest polls, which came out today, John McCain has started to open up a…
- The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on a…
- It was reported today that Michelle Obama wants her mother to move into the White House with them. Yeah, this is expected to be the…
- President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled…
- Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to…
- I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that. But today I tell you that whether you fear it or…
More Today Quotes
- Boxing gave me the opportunities to grow into the person that I am today. — Alexis Arguello
- As far as we are concerned, we are ready to leave today, tomorrow, at any time, to join the people of Haiti,… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- The spirit of Ubuntu, that once led Haiti to emerge as the first independent black nation in 1804, helped Venezuela, Colombia and… — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- I never thought being obnoxious would get me where I am today. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- Today we often think that before we start living a religious life we have first to accept the creedal doctrines and that… — Karen Armstrong
- I want justice to be so pervasive that it will be taken for granted, just as injustice is taken for granted today. — Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
- Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today - but the core… — Isaac Asimov
- To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. — Isaac Asimov
- Today, the Iraqi citizen sees that America is coming and wants to occupy his country and kill him, and he is willing… — Bashar al-Assad
- The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. — Fred Astaire
- The people you see in Nigeria today have always lived as neighbors in the same space for as long as we can… — Chinua Achebe
- Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that… — Kevyn Aucoin