Stole One Quotes by Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner has 118 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
• My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
• Oh, my God. I've just told you how old I am. Nobody knows how old I am. I'm going to have to…
• How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?
• Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
• You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
• Cats are a waste of fur.
• I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would…
• Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the…
• Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth…
• Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
• The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a…

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